Thursday, October 15, 2009

tiffani and t pain sittin in a tree

Hello all, I'm Tiffani! Not to be confused with the other Tiffany for her name is spelled with the letter 'y' at the end and mine is unique and spelled with an 'i' For those of you who don't know, I met Tiffany && Brittany in Tulsa Okie Homie when we went to go see Honor Society for their fashionably late tour. Sam, Jenn, && I are from Arkansas and we rep it pretty well. Before I get into this Tulsa experience let me just start out by filling you in on a couple things you should know about me I am possibly one of the most funniest people you will ever meet. I'd love to toot my own horn and just say that. I speak three languages: English, Sarcasm, && Ebonics. Fluent in all three holla atcha gurl! I absolutely love rap music but only rap from the 90's unless it's Jay-Z I will always listen to Jay-Z I got my diamonds up To be quite frank with you I listen to all types of music and I think if you want to have a future in music you must appreciate ALL types of music. I'm highly perverted and I don't care. I cuss more than I should but I don't care. I break the rules and I don't care I'm going to be known for doing a lot of stuff one day just wait for it. I want my own talk show one day Chelsea Handler is my hero and Shia Labeouf is my life. bye.

Now as far as Tulsa goes I've been there many times just going through but this past time was my 2nd time to actually go and visit the first being the world tour for jB. Let me start out by saying I love Tulsa sooooo damn much but the drive there is horrid. I hate it. On a lighter note it's not that long of a drive and it's nice to get out of Kris Allen town once in a while!

The night before we left/concert day. I was running a 104 temperature I wrapped myself up in blankets and sweats until my fever broke then I grabbed me a bite to eat and I drove to meet Sam and Jenn at this lovely place called Wal-Mart! Where I heard that Push Play was number 5 on our 9:00 countdown and I was absolutely amazed because they are my work and I have to spend every waking minute promoting them and its all for the love of Steve's nipples

I got to Sam's we went and picked up betty the gps system from Keleigh then we went back to Sam's wrote on her car which got rained off. Then we went beddy bye. Sam got us up the next morning she went to school to do some shit then Jen and I sat around the house and got ready and made a mix cd! When Sam got home were then our way!! It didn't take us that long to get to Tulsa like I said the drive is short yet boring. We went to Mickey D's got some food then found our way to the KHITZ radio station to wait on the arrival of some guys that call themselves gents. In the process of waiting Sam, Jen, && I met Brittany and Blonde Tiffany. Brittany let us know in no time that she was a whore/groupie and I probably owe her money from countless times I've needed a ho in tulsa. It started raining and it was a blur really. Mikey the DJ came out and harassed us then countless cuss words later this red mini van showed up and Brittany had a teenie moment then there were gentlemen present. We had eye sex, creamed, then they were on there way up to the elevator to do their thang on the radio. They came back down we did the whole picture thing. People got cd's autographed I just wanted my damn pictures. After that Sam and I found ourselves alone with Alex chatting it up and giving knucks to each other about almost being 21 and being able to drink. Alex almost broke Sams camera. He said he would have went to wal-mart. Idda made the bitch take me to a camera store and buy me a fancy one. Alex and I then had to re-enact what had happened with Alex, Sam's Camera, && her ninja like pinky. The handler came out and said okay you guys gotta go and get to the venue for sound check.

They left it was raining we ran to Sam's car got it in found a quick trip to get the almighty ROOSTER BOOSTER bless it's name. We drank our booster got energized found The Marquee and proceeded to wait out in the pouring rain. When I say pouring I mean POURING rain. And the wind was blowing every which way so there was not a dry spot on my body.(told you i was perverted) We waited, waited, and waited. Met some funny bitches one's last name was Cackle. If you're out there cackle girl I freaking love you. The doors finally opened I was numb and couldn't feel anything my ticket was soaked but home dudes at the table didn't care and just let me go through. I told them i was going to go change and they said alright just get re stamped when you come back in. Now, I walk back to car and I look around in the hood where we were at to make sure nobody was watching. Stripped down in the middle of the street and put on my hannah montana pjs nobody believed me that I was going to go put them on but I did cause my comfort is key to my life. I came back in got my merch and m&g. Then we were bought hot chocolate from starbucks which was fantastic! But by the time I got back there to get my parties hot chocolate the dry bitches drank it all. If you are reading this and you are one of the said "dry" bitches I hate you and we can't be friends ever. EFF YOU!

We listened to Esmee False Teeth Denteres or whatever. Sam teenied when she found out her manager was Jtimb. I told her to BBM me and everyone laughed great story. I have another one.

Honor Society came out and it was magical. We rocked hard hard hard hard hard. Sam && I have tried countless times to bring a marker board into a concert and we finally did with the help of Jen's huge A purse. We wrote special messages on the board and got lots of shits and giggles out of the guys. Very nice and awesome of them to love us as much as we love us! They started rocking and it was fun you know how it goes. We danced and Michael and I connected which was nice I feel like we're brother and sister now. He just needs to send me some $$$$$ ASAP. The concert ended we met up again with Brittany who's bra was hanging out and half way un done. She is a whore so this shouldn't shock you! We wait in line for our m&g Sam goes up hugs gets all warmed up by Andy(mr. robust) and her and Michael have eye sex. Then he was so deeply concerned if we would be attending the next show in Tulsa. She said yes but that they should come to Arkansas and he said "i'll think about it" well. That's not gonna work Mike because lemme tell you Arkansas NEEDS you! Like a goof needs his ball like a cow needs it's utters. Just come to Arkansas it's where the party is really at. I get up there for my turn in the meet and greet line and Mike's hands are wide open awaiting a hug. Then Jay hugs me and places his head on my shoulder weird... Then I apologize for being freezing and say I was so cold and damp I changed into my Hannah Montana pj's and Alex just goes "omg where did you find those" I giggled and said "wal-mart??" Andy made me melt into putty as he said "I was just about to change into mine" I told him he should have it would have been legit epic. Jay goes legit and epic crazy. He danced I told him he needed to calm down andy told him the same thing and then we took our picture got Alex to call the hogs and we were on our way.

I'm not gonna sit here and tell you how insanely boring the drive back home was because it was just that insane and boring.

But you should know that I rock I rock on and Tulsa was crushed by not only Honor Society but my amazing group of friends that I made a long the way yay us! Can't wait to go rock Tulsa again Dec. 20th for Push Play and Justin Bieber.

I LOVE T PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tiffani.

4 comments:

  1. LMFAO!! that was the best damn thing i've EVER read...i'm pretty sure that's the best summery of that trip. i cannot wait to read your view of the rest of our AH-MAZING trips together!

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  2. lmao oh my gosh tiffani. im doing my step by step thing next you have inspired me.

    PS (only tiff will get the entire joke) as i walk into my living room today BETTY was sitting there and proceeded to yell "HERE COMES TROUBLE" at me. i flipped her off, but isnt that great?!
    haha

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  3. betty man that bitch is crazy i love her!!!

    and yeah step by step is a great way to blog and it's also a good 90's situational comedy :)

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  4. betty is INSANE!! i can't believe she yelled at you...actually i can...

    step by step! damn i miss that show! the french guy was my FAVORITE!!

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